"The first Ninth Wave meeting I went to was in January of 2009. I remember sitting in the parking lot with my hands and head on the steering wheel thinking, “Oh Lord, it’s come to this – I’m joining a women’s motivational group”. I’d always considered myself a strong, independent woman and couldn’t imagine what went on at such events. After moving to SW Florida, I had made few friends. Worst of all, I was struggling with almost every aspect of my 45-year old life, something I’d rarely been faced with before. At the end of a difficult and sad marriage, I’d become a zombie – forcing one foot in front of the other every day, making ends meet financially, supporting a depressed spouse, trying to raise a small child, maintaining a home, and performing at work. The attractive woman I used to be, a great cook, musically inclined, athletic, joyous and full of energy and stamina had all but disappeared. Around this time I saw a vacation picture and didn’t even recognize myself, wondering who that sad, bent over, pudgy woman was sitting there with my family.
I read a write-up on Ninth Wave Motivation in the newspaper and realized I had nothing to lose and potentially much to gain by going. After all, nothing else was working for me and I was desperate for friendships. I also love that the group meets at a local business each month, so I went to that first meeting at a shoe store having no idea what to expect. By the end of the night I was standing in the parking lot with 20 other women, letting my light blue balloon float into the sky, covered with black markered words of all I wanted to let go of: husband’s depression, financial insecurity, sadness, worry, excess flab, lack of energy, etc.
By the time the second meeting came around a month later, I was separated from my husband, and needed desperately to wake up and redefine my life. I went to each monthly Ninth Wave meeting and started making new friends. Sometimes I would go even if I felt like staying home by myself with a bag of Cheetos, a gin and tonic, a sad movie and a box of Kleenex. I never announced any specific goals to the group – I didn’t have any! I didn’t feel pressured to speak about my life, although opening up was encouraged and comfortable to do.
Over those next months, I started running again, went to the gym and lost 20 pounds. The beautiful piano I walked by ignoring every day for a year was tuned and I started playing music again. I invited friends over to make dinner for them, renewing my passion for cooking. I got a raise and a bonus and splurged on a convertible and a beach house for 2 months where I read 11 books on my stay-cation. I met up with the ladies from Ninth Wave not only at the monthly meetings, but at other events and realized I was truly enjoying life again. An old girlfriend came to visit and took a picture of us both on the beach – I saw it and recognized myself again – happy, healthy and strong. Happy.
So, with no set objectives in mind, I reached many goals that year by simply surrounding myself with the quiet support of all those wonderful Ninth Wave women who are looking for that balance, just like me."
~Melissa
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